It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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