She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
