that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
