Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
