SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
