She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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