And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
