I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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