If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
