you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
