I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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