im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize