Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
