the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
