she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
