The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
