my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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