Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
