I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
