i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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