therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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