Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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