3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
