talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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