Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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