I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
