I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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