Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
