none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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