I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the day after is always just damage control
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
