Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
