Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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