I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
