She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
