Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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