yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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