so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
