hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
