mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
