I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
