i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
