Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
