pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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