I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
