I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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