Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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