you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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