Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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