Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
