Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
