Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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