I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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