STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Its about making memories worth repressing
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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