Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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