you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
