Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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