I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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