C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
People in love make me want to vomit
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
