That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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