Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's shark week go big or go home
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
