My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
