Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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