We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
