He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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