There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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