btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
